These last 10 months have been riddled with emotional highs and lows. It feels like we have been all over the map with our emotions (and our kids’ emotions!). This post aims to share some helpful hints to remain CALM amidst the chaos of high …
Author: Beth Trammell
This episode, my friend, Jennifer Stanley, joins me as we talk about dream catching, goal setting and the 3 things to achieve your goals in 2021. This time of year is the perfect time to think through and strategize to better capture all those dreams …
An article written by April Toler from Indiana University Ask the Expert: How parents can help their children through a pandemic holiday season: News at IU: Indiana University BY APRIL TOLER Dec. 9, 2020 The holiday season is typically filled with family gatherings and once-a-year activities. …
I don’t know how yall are doing, but I know I have been feeling more and more self-inflicted pressures to minimize my kids’ screen time. And as my kids get older, I am finding myself being more and more interested in learning ways to help …
I was walking with some great friends this morning and was reminded again that so much of what I share with YOU is also continually relevant for ME and my kids. Funny how that happens…
During the typical “how are your kids doing with the start of school” conversation, I was brought back to some moments I had with my tween when I had the thought in my head that she was being “rude” or “distant” or “withdrawn.” I didn’t say those things to her, but I definitely had defensive thoughts in my head like… “How DARE SHE?!”
Cue my recent podcast episode about calling our kids a ‘brat’. Cue my continued push for myself and other parents to use our words (and thoughts) for good. Cue my previous learning about child development and change resiliency.
And here’s where I landed. Here’s what I feel sure about. My kid (YOUR KID) isn’t being jerkish, or angry, or mean, or rude, or disrespectful. If your child is a virtual learner right now, chances are REALLY good that they are LONELY.
Here’s the thing. I have shared before that our kids are social beings, taught from an early age to “be a good friend” and “share with others.” They crave peer relationships – even the bad ones. They learn so, so many things from the interactions from same-aged peers.
And it goes without saying that being in a Zoom meeting with their peers is not at all like being in the same physical space with them. Remember how isolated, sad, depressed, irritable we felt during quarantine? Remember how amazing it was to be shoulder-to-shoulder with someone once we were able to get out and see friends again after quarantine? THAT’S what your kids are feeling and desiring to feel.
So how do we help?
If you think your child has been more irritable, withdrawn, moody, disrespectful, angry, grumpy, tired, “over it”, sad, or any other negative mood…LEAN in, not away from them. Come closer to them. Don’t force it, but keep trying. Have lunch together. Take a walk. Sit in a hammock. Talk to them about your own feelings of loneliness. Actually use the word lonely.
Tell them it’s okay to feel lonely.
It’s okay to feel sad.
It’s okay to grieve.
It’s okay to feel tired for no reason at all.
Because our ambiguity fatigue is real. Our change meter is worn out. Our ability to tolerate change and ambiguity may be next to nothing. And that is definitely NOT “I’m sad for no reason.” Those are all definitely reasons to feel all sorts of things.
That are not at all related to them being a jerk.
Love to all and extra hugs this week!
Stay well, friends – Beth
Today is our final day of intentional conversations within this journey (hopefully not your final intentional conversation with your child! :). This series of questions for today helps model goal-setting and intention-setting – something that will be beneficial to them for their entire lives. You …
“Light fosters life. You have light to share, which means you have life to share. Don’t hide it. We all want to make a mark on the world, but oftentimes we talk ourselves out of it because we’re too busy or we assume we’re not talented enough. Hear me today: Your light shines brighter than you think it does.” -Car window poetry devotional
I read this devotional a couple weeks ago and think we could help our kids this week focus on how they can be a light to share with others.
Check out Car window poetry. Or search up “random acts of kindness.” Share this idea with your kids and then ask them specifically what THEY can do to be extra kind today, tomorrow, and on the first day of school. Share with them what you are going to do to be extra kind. Have them write it down or help them write it down to help remind them. Ask them about it later that day and see how they FELT when they were extra nice. Share how you felt and remain in the present moment of experiencing this with your child today!
Stay well, friends.