This one is sometimes a tough one to realize. Sometimes we realize this about our spouse or partner before we realize this in ourselves. Many of us don’t want to admit that we are pushing our child to the limit because we want to relive our dream, rather than allowing it to be their dream. We encourage them to play a certain sport or do a certain activity because WE want them to do it…not because they want to.
I get that we should push our kids to do things outside of their comfort zone. I encourage that. I think introducing kids to all sorts of new things is brilliant. That isn’t what I am talking about here.
Here, I am talking about those ways that we push our kids or force our kids into things they aren’t remotely interested in…just because WE want them to do it.
We have some good friends who coach basketball. They have two kids. Neither of which love basketball. In fact, the kids disdain the sport. We often talk about how hard it is to love a sport so much and have offspring who could care less. What I admire about these friends of ours is that they don’t push their kids into the sport. They introduced them to it. Had their kids play in a recreational league. But after that league, when the kids said they were done, the parents allowed them to be done.
So I ask here…when you put your kids in a sport or activity, is it your dream or theirs? Is it your plan because it is more convenient? Or their true desire to grow and develop with that particular activity?